Note to 60 million obese Chinese: Get off the sofa and take a wok
07/15/05

That old saying about fat people – “He has more chins than a Chinese phonebook” – takes on new meaning with the recent release of a report that says 60 million Chinese are obese.

China’s Xinhua News Agency quoted Pan Beilei, a deputy director with the government-affiliated State Food and Nutrition Consultant Committee, as saying that worsening diets had led to health problems, including obesity.

The Chinese are increasing their consumption of junk (and I don’t mean those funky looking boats) and at the same time cutting back their consumption of grains and veggies. This is leading to a high number of cases of high blood pressure and diabetes. In other words, they’re getting all the bad parts of Western culture, but none of the good ones – like beer bongs and umbrella hats.

Curiously, at the same time that 60 million Chinese are obese, a widening wealth gap means that 24 million people in China still live in abject poverty and suffer from malnutrition. I guess the poor ones could eat the fat ones, but even that’s a short-term solution; I don’t know about you but I’m always hungry again an hour after I eat Chinese.

According to the Ministry of Health statistics, last year 160 million Chinese had high blood pressure due to poor eating habits. I have to wonder if the high blood pressure comes from a bad diet, or from living so close to North Korea. The thought of Kim Jong Il with nukes makes me nervous, and I don’t live next door to him.

The Chinese need to come up with a physical-fitness campaign, like the one we have here in Texas called “Texercise.” You have to admit, that’s one catchy slogan, and a campaign such as the one I’m proposing needs a catchy slogan – something that will look good on a t-shirt. I already have the perfect slogan, and they are welcome to it free of charge.

It’s “Drop the wok and take a walk.”