I have sort of a morning routine - a cup of coffee, a slice of toast, and a quick look at the newspaper. After reading the paper Monday, however, I'm going to have to give up either the reading or the eating, because I can no longer do them both at the same time. Not if the paper is going to run stories like this one.

It seems that nudist camps are -- you should pardon the expression - drying up. They're having trouble attracting new blood. I would have guessed they'd be more interested in attracting new skin, but what do I know?

People at nudist groups such as the American Association for Nude Recreation are scratching their heads - and who knows what else - as to why the nudist lifestyle is such a hard sell to 20- and 30-somethings.

Well, one major clue - indeed, perhaps the key to this entire conundrum -- is in a statistic released by the association itself: more than 90 percent of its 50,000 members are older than 35. Think about it; how many people over the age of 35 can you name whom you'd pay to see in their birthday suit? Go ahead -- I'll wait here.

In the article I read, a spokesperson said, ''If a young person is enlightened enough to go to a beach or resort, they'll find that they're outnumbered by people who are not like them.' By "not like them," I assume he means "people to whom Mr. Gravity has not been kind."

''Oftentimes they won't go back for that reason," he said. Yes - that, and the fact that they don't want to risk having that image burned permanently into their retinas.

So the old-school nudists wonder why youngsters are unwilling to cough up their hard-earned bucks - plus risk getting sunburn and poison ivy in unusual places - to hang out with naked old folks. It makes you wonder -- have these people spent the past 10 years in a cave? Have they not turned on a TV? Have they not heard of this new-fangled Interweb thingy? I'll tell them why young people won't go out of their way to see naked old folks; it's real simple - they don't have to.

Back in the day, nudism and "naturalism" were a lot more popular; that's because they were a little risqué and also because they were a rare opportunity to see naked people. Young folks don't have that problem. Today, anyone with a computer can log on and download all the skin they want. Somehow, that makes watching people as old as their grandparents playing volleyball a little less sexy.

There is at least one upside to the graying of the nudist population, especially for women who complain about men staring at their chests. One female nudist said, ''Unlike any other place in life, people actually look at you when they talk to you.'' And you know they're looking you in the eye - because they're afraid to look anywhere else.