jeff carmack, austin, writer, freelance writer, humorist, newspaper journalist, texas, humor writer, central texas jeff carmack, austin, writer, freelance writer
texas, humor writer, central texas
   
  New Mexico: Land of Enchantment (and then some)
July 6, 2007

Don’t be surprised if New Mexico starts to issue employees tie-dyed t-shirts, ID badges that glow under blacklight, and converts its state motor vehicle fleet to a batch of DayGlo 1972 Volkswagen microbuses powered by cannabis-seed bio-diesel.

Do I sound like I’ve spent too much time downwind from Willie Nelson’s tour bus? After you read this, you may think I’m not so far off the mark.

The reason for my prediction is this: New Mexico has a new medical marijuana law. This in itself is not huge news; 11 other states have laws that protect medical marijuana users from prosecution. The big news is that New Mexico’s new law requires the state itself to grow and sell the weed to legitimate users.

The law was passed in March and signed by Gov. Bill Richardson, who is gunning for the presidential nomination – the Democratic presidential nomination. No huge surprise there. Think “Republican” and who do you picture? If you’re like me, you pictured Dick Cheney. And speaking of Willie’s bus, can you think of anyone who would benefit more from spending a little quality time with the Red-Headed Stranger? I rest my case.

The state wants sufferers of some diseases -- cancer, glaucoma, multiple sclerosis, epilepsy and HIV-AIDS, as well as by some patients in hospice care – to have access to pot, which reliable research has repeatedly shown can help such patients. Reena Szczepanski, director of Drug Policy Alliance New Mexico, said "The long-term goal is that the patients will have a safe, secure supply that doesn't mean drug dealers, and that doesn't mean growing their own."

But in the short term, until the state can get its first crop in, approved patients or their caregivers will receive temporary certificates that will allow them to possess up to six ounces of marijuana, four mature plants and three immature seedlings.

The department says that’s enough for three months, or one Phish concert.

Under the new law, the state has until By Oct. 1 to issue rules for the licensing of marijuana producers and in-state, secured facilities, and for developing a distribution system. On that last point, they could take some pointers from my college roommate. He not only delivered, he’d also stop and pick up a pizza and a six-pack for his preferred customers.

This could be the beginning of big changes in typically staid state government, and tie dye is only the beginning. They could change the state song to Brewer and Shipley’s “One Toke Over the Line.” And with a state capital as hippy-dippy as Santa Fe, I wouldn’t be surprised if they replaced all the streetlights with lava lamps.

I see a huge investment opportunity here. Once baby boomers find out that the state is going to start playing candyman, they’re going to flock to New Mexico in droves. So I’m going to get out ahead of the curve and start investing in land there. Land, and a Krispy Kreme doughnut franchise.

 

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