Man, I could kick myself. Last weekend, I figure I took a couple of thousand bucks worth of clothes to the Goodwill. If I had read about Attus Apparel a week earlier, I might be a rich man today.

Let me explain. You’ve seen people who otherwise look like they have plenty of money wearing clothes you wouldn’t wash your dog in. You might be tempted to give these poor souls a couple of bucks so they can get a decent meal, and then you see them whip out a cell phone or climb into a new SUV. And you realize – duh! – those ratty duds are supposed to look ratty.

Clothes that look like they lost an argument with a lawnmower are “distressed,” and the companies that make them have a bag of tricks for producing that “lived-in” (or maybe “run-over”) look. They’ll rip holes in brand new shirts, fray the cuffs of perfectly good pants, or tumble jeans in a washer full of hammers. Their clever techniques make new togs look like something the guy on the corner with the cardboard sign would be ashamed to wear.

But according to an article I read the other day, when it comes to messing up new clothes, Attus Apparel of Lexington, Kentucky, gets a gold star for innovation. To make their shirts look like they’ve been in a firefight, they shoot ‘em.

Yup – Attus takes brand new polo shirts and peppers them with shotgun and handgun fire. American Indians decorated their clothes by sewing beads on them; Attus, on the other hand, decorates their clothes by drawing a bead on them.

The company was started back in March but the response was less than remarkable. Attus co-founder Whit Hiler knew he had to do something to generate some buzz about his clothes, and that’s how he came up with the idea of using them for target practice.

Hiler and a few friends, who were promised free beer (somehow, you knew alcohol was involved in this, didn’t you?) went to a field outside Lexington, set up four mannequins clad in polo shirts, and opened fire. Hiler took photos, which were then posted on the Attus website, and the rest is marketing history.

Hiler admits that going all OK Corral on the shirts was “kind of a stunt.” But, he added, “We are actually selling these products.” And not just selling them, but selling them at $100 a shot (you should pardon the pun).

Obviously, fashion of this sort (if fashion’s not too strong a word) appeals to a certain kind of person – a person with more bucks than brains. And as much as I hate to admit it, that describes me pretty well (even when I’m broke). So I’m thinking of buying one of these shirts; then, the next time my wife tells me my favorite shirt is just about shot, I can honestly tell her I’m not a slob – in fact, I’m at the pinnacle of fashion.