I read somewhere that the bathroom is the most dangerous room in your house. For some randy Republicans, however, bathrooms – especially the ones outside their own homes – are the real killers.

You’ve probably read about Idaho Sen. Larry Craig. Craig resigned his Senate post recently after it became known that he had been busted in a Minneapolis airport men’s room – reportedly a notorious gay pickup hot spot – for playing the hokey-pokey (so to speak) with an undercover cop.

He’s not the only Republican with toileting issues, either. Florida state Rep. Bob Allen was arrested in a park bathroom in his home state after he allegedly offered an undercover cop $20 to let him perform an act of intimacy on him.

If you haven’t read the sordid details, don’t worry – I have. In Craig’s case, he was sitting in a stall when he scooted his foot under the partition and tapped the foot of the guy in the stall next door. Thing was, they guy happened to be – surprise! – an undercover cop. The tapping, along with a couple of other things, convinced the cop that Allen was doing more than just rocking out to his iPod.

Florida’s Allen was busted after he peeked over the door of, and then entered, a stall that was occupied by – surprise! – an undercover cop. After his arrest, Allen told police he wasn’t actually serious about suggesting they go someplace more private, or offering the officer money for sex; no, he was just “playing along” because he was intimidated by the officer, whom he described as a "stocky black guy," and “there was nothing but other black guys around in the park," So, apparently he’s not just stupid and a perv – he’s a racist to boot.

Ironically, Allen supported Florida’s ban on gays adopting children. He also co-sponsored an unsuccessful bill that would have enhanced penalties for "offenses involving unnatural and lascivious acts" such as indecent exposure. Or, one assumes, asking another guy for a date in a public bathroom.

Anyway, this whole thing with the Republicans has me confused. Not too long ago, members of the GOP got all lathered up when they found out Bill Clinton might have been dallying with someone not his legal spouse. And then they impeached him when they thought he was lying about it.

I’m not defending Bill; he’s a married man and he probably needs to keep his pants zipped. And his momma probably taught him better than to lie. But didn’t the Republicans made a big deal about honor and decency – about being the party of family values? So what family were they referring to? The Addams Family? The Manson family? Speaking of families, I think the Sopranos were better role models – and they killed people!

Maybe I’m wrong; maybe the folks who made such a big deal about Clinton’s indiscretions were truly offended by Clinton’s lapses. But if you asked me, I think they’re just mad because he didn’t have to smell urinal cakes while he was making whoopee.