Cell phones are in the news – again. Last summer, you heard a lot about Apple’s new iPhone and those idio … um … I mean, those people who waited in line for a week to get first crack at one of the overpriced and over-hyped gizmos.

Then, just a couple of weeks ago Apple dropped the price of the iPhone by 200 bucks, which totally PO’ed the folks who had camped out to buy one. You ask me, if you’re dumb enough to sleep on the sidewalk just so you can be the first person in your condo complex to own what is basically a toy, you deserve the $200 spanking. Call it a tax on stupidity.

And now comes this: the results of a recent study suggest that extensive mobile phone use may cause a slowing of cerebral activity.

For you hard-core users, let me repeat: cell … phone … hurt … brain.

According to a study of 300 people conducted by researchers in Australia, England and the Netherlands, frequent mobile phone users demonstrated slowed brain function. But this comes as no surprise; in fact, if you’re like me, it probably just confirms what you have long suspected.

If you drive, you’ve probably ended up behind someone who’s created a rolling parking lot behind them by driving 15 miles under the speed limit while they discuss their hot Pilates instructor, or what wine to pair with the arugula-and-poached-baby-seal salad they’re having for dinner.

And it seems like you can’t go into a video store without bumping in to someone, cell phone in hand, who’s loudly reading the cover of every freakin’ new release to someone – no doubt the winner of the coin toss, who got to stay home with a cold one while loser Verizon Boy went out for pizza and a movie.

And then there’s “Bluetooth fairies,” those folks who walk around with a wireless earphone stuck in their heads, even when they’re not actually talking. These fashion accessories for the chronically hip may make wearers think they’re saying to the world, “I’m so important that I can’t spare the five seconds it takes to dig out my phone and answer it.” What they’re really saying, however, is “I mistakenly think it’s totally awesome to walk around looking like Mr Sulu from Star Trek.”

The study revealed some other interesting facts. For instance, it found that frequent heavy users showed improved attention because they have learned to focus on conversation while filtering out distractions; however, those distractions tended to be things like the grating, screaming noises made by a bicycle messenger being dragged into the Whole Foods parking garage under an Escalade.

Researchers said the slowed brain functions were well within the range of “normal,” and that the short study sampled only a very small group. However, the lead researcher predicted that a longer-term study would show more severe effects. This is bad news if you have to live among heavy cell phone users, but good news if you own Apple stock.