Like a lot of people my age – and that’s spelled o-l-d f-a-r-t-s – I think music has gone to hell. Elvis joined the Army, Yoko broke up the Beatles, and don’t even get me started on rap.

Anyway, with a few exceptions, music’s going to hell in a Hummer. If there were any question in your mind about its sad state, check out the following news story. If you haven’t yet figured out where I’m going with this, I’m talking about Kid Rock getting arrested for starting a fight in a waffle house.

For those of you who don’t follow music as obsessively as I do, let me fill you in. Kid Rock is a scrawny little dude usually dressed in an undershirt and a porkpie hat. If there were any justice in the world, a major part of his day would be spent asking, “paper or plastic?” Although he’s ostensibly a musician, he’s probably most famous for having been married to former “Baywatch” star Pamela Anderson.

According to police reports, Rock’s problems started in an Atlanta waffle house when a customer recognized a woman in Rock’s party and exchanged words with her. I don’t know what was said – maybe something like “Hey, Charlene, the doctor called and that’s not just a rash.”

At any rate, the incident escalated, moved into the parking lot, and ended in fisticuffs. A window was broken, and Kid and his party fled the scene in his tour bus. They were stopped by police about a mile down the road and Kid spent the night in the cooler.

Note to Kid: the next time you flee the scene of a crime, use a vehicle that’s a little less conspicuous, like a hot-air balloon maybe, or perhaps a circus elephant – pretty much anything that’s not a bus with your name on the front. Also, be careful about getting in fistfights – you might get your tooth knocked out.

Let’s compare Kid Rock with consummate rock god, Keith Richards. Rock has always been about rebellion, and no one knows more about that than the Rolling Stones’ guitarist. Richards once said, “If you’re going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet.” Sorry to break it to you, Kid, but starting a fight in a waffle house isn’t rock ‘n’ roll and it isn’t rebellion – it’s what happens after you’ve pulled a week of double shifts at Wally World and can’t face going back to the double-wide (or her two kids).

My point is that a real rock star just doesn’t get arrested at a waffle house. A real rock star gets arrested at a five-star hotel where a TV ended up in the swimming pool, or coming through customs with non-prescription glaucoma medication. But a waffle house? Kid, that’s not rock ‘n’ roll – that’s just embarrassing.