I don’t mind telling you, I’m more than a little depressed about the state of popular music these days. I know what you’re probably thinking – people have been saying the same thing since Mozart went electric. But things have really hit a new low. I had just about gotten over a wannabe bad-boy rocker getting arrested for starting a fight in a waffle house (What’s next? A dust-up at a funeral, maybe? How about a drive-by at an orphanage?) and then I read an article in the New York Times (most of it, anyway) about how rock musicians are totally selling out to make a buck.

Back in the day, when rockers were artists and not businessmen, and the industry was run by visionaries, not bean-counters, music was about art, not filthy lucre. Where all that money for fast cars, dangerous drugs and French chateaus came from was kind of vague, but still, it was about the art; at least that’s what all the musicians said, and they should know, right? End of argument.

But today, with record sales declining and the price of tattoos skyrocketing, musicians are having to find other income sources. One answer is merchandising – musicians are putting their names on anything and everything.

One of the most prolific (that’s Latin for “shameless”) merchandisers is the rock band Kiss. They’ve lent (sold, actually) their name for use on all kinds of stuff – even a Kiss Kasket. I don’t know about you but to me, nothing more eloquently expresses the ineffable mystery of life and death than images of grown men in leather codpieces and clown makeup.

Other offerings include Kiss toothbrushes and Kiss condoms. Tell you what – there's no way I’d put a Kiss toothbrush in my mouth; and as for a Kiss condom … well …

In their heyday, the Who were one of rock’s wilder bands, notorious for smashing their gear onstage and hotel rooms offstage. In his song, “My Generation,” Pete Townshend sang, “Hope I die before I get old.” A modern version might be more like, “Hope I don’t die before I license this tune for an iPod commercial.”

It saddens me to admit it but some of my generation’s most beloved musicians are hopping on the branding bandwagon. Even former Beatle Paul McCartney has sold his soul to the devil – or worse. McCartney’s music is now distributed in Starbucks outlets. He’s also inked a deal with Apple computers to distribute Beatles’ tunes via iTunes. This is more than sad when you consider how adamant the Beatles always were about their music not being used in commercials. That sound you hear is not “Revolution” – it’s John Lennon spinning in his grave.

Dwindling income from album sales are also driving some musicians to work directly with experts in merchandising, touring and digital downloading. For instance, Madonna just broke with Warner Music Group to go with Live Nation. She said, “With this new partnership, who knows how my albums will be distributed in the future?” I’m no marketing whiz but I’m guessing the same way they are now – Goodwill stores and white-elephant parties.