We’ve all heard the truism that crime doesn’t pay. I think there are probably lots of crooks who would argue that point with you – if they weren’t skiing in Switzerland, or yachting in the Mediterranean, or deciding what they’ll do when they leave the White House. But while being a criminal may pay, being a stupid criminal doesn’t; in fact, not only does it not pay, it can end up getting you shot in the leg and arrested for your trouble.

I just read a news article about an 18-year-old kid who went into a Chicago muffler shop early one morning Tuesday intending to rob it. The employees told the kid that the only person who could open the safe was the boss, and he wasn’t there. But the kid was enterprising, he had drive, and he had determination. Sadly, he also had a room-temperature IQ.

If it had been me trying to rob the place, I would have just chalked this one up to bad timing and tried someplace else. Of course, that’s the story of my life; if a thing doesn’t come easy to me – whether it’s playing the guitar, armed robbery or learning to juggle – I hang it up. I agree with W.C, Fields, who famously said, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."

But this kid – obviously made of sterner stuff than me – was no quitter. No, he gave employees his phone number (in fact, he gave them two phone numbers, and probably would have tossed in his e-mail and fax number if he’d thought of it) and told them to call him when the boss came back and could open the safe. According to one of the employees, the robber told them, “You guys better call me because otherwise I'm going to come back to shoot you.”

The employees, who clearly have no sense of fair play or respect for the kid’s resolve, called the law.

A couple of plainclothes cops came to the shop and told employees to call the kid back. They did, and the would-be robber returned, reportedly wearing the same mask and black clothing he had on the first time he came in. He pulled a gun, one of the cops shot him in the leg, and the kid was charged with attempted armed robbery and aggravated assault of a police officer. Adding insult to injury (so to speak), he didn’t even get any money.

Employees now are concerned that the man's friends may return to get even with them for calling the police. If I were them, I wouldn’t worry. If the guy’s friends are no smarter than he is, they shouldn’t be too hard to outwit. If they did come around looking for payback, I’d just tell them that the boss doesn’t allow his employees to get shot while on the clock, so they should come back after 5 o’clock. And then I’d call the cops.